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Everything was fine, but suddenly he disappeared

Thursday, April 28th 2011. | Relationship Tips

Previously you felt like having the most beautiful love story with a man you love, everything seemed perfect. But one day, unexpectedly, he suddenly disappeared without any reason. He didn’t reply your sms, he didn’t pick up the phone, and his friends seemed reluctant to tell you about his existence. You began to wonder, what’s wrong with this relationship?

Man needs space
John Gray, the author of the phenomenal book ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’, says that sometimes the Mars creature feels that he loses his identity when he has emotional closeness with a Venus creature. Man is like a rubber band, sometimes he stretches away, but one day he will return to his previous place.
However, in many cases woman often panics and thinks that the world will end when her dream man can’t be contacted. She will start to send hundreds of sms and call the man for many times. Well … actually if she could be calm down and stop to be a drama queen, she will get the answer why her boyfriend stayed away from her.
There are many reasons why a man wants to stay away from woman, such as he is really busy and doesn’t want to be disturbed, he is doing a long meeting, he forgets to bring his cell phone, or he needs time for himself etc. If you send many sms or call him for many times, he will feel being intimidated or becomes a suspect, and as a result, he will be reluctant to explain what actually happened when he was not with you. Rather than panic and stress, you better do some cool activities with your friends, choose activity that can be done together with friends, because friends can help to release your sadness, sometimes acting as if you were a single woman will be fun too ;)

So how long should you wait?
You’ve tried to fill your spare time with various activities, but unfortunately he hasn’t come to you. Now the problem is, how long should you wait for him? The answer is, it depends on your limit of tolerance and also your needs; it could be a day, a week, a month or even more than that. Every person has different character, there is a girl who wishes that her boyfriend should call her at least three times in a day, but in other hand, there’s a girl who doesn’t mind if her boyfriend calls her only at the weekend.
If your relationship is still new, it is possible if you’ve not had opportunity to talk about this matter with him, so no wonder if there’s misunderstanding between you and him. Maybe you wish that he wants to call you every day, while on the other hand he thinks that he doesn’t need to send ‘breaking news’ about his daily activities everyday.
If one day he comes back to you again, you better discuss about this matter to him, say honestly that you don’t like if he rarely contacts you. If he is really busy, ask him to send you sms at least once in a day, so you won’t feel worried about him. But if he feels objected to meet your request, it could be that you and he have different wish and expectation about love relationship.

Is he serious with this relationship?
You have waited for him for long time, but he still doesn’t come and explain about his absence from your life, even he is increasingly difficult to be reached. If this happens, maybe it’s time for you to review about your relationship with him. Does he have the same feeling with you? Does he consider you as a girlfriend? Do you both have conflicting expectations? For example: you want to get married as soon as possible, while he just wants to do casual relationship.
Ideally if one of the couple wants to end the relationship, he has to do it with ethic, he can’t ignore you just like that. But in the reality, there’s always someone who hasn’t grown-up enough and chooses to run away from his responsibility. If this happens to you, you do not need to spend a lot of time to analyze about what he has done to you and make you feel more miserable. Just believe if he is not the right guy and he doesn’t deserve to get your love. Your life is too precious to be given to someone who doesn’t have any responsibility. You will be fine without him :)

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